Why'd you do that?! - When characters throw us for a loop

Last night, I wrote a post for an RP forum group I participate in. The character is one that I've thought was fairly defined. I'm super familiar with her motivations, recognize situations that could cause this reaction or that. I can usually predict her behavior, which is pretty impressive when writing with other people and trying to anticipate their characters actions.

But last night was weird. I wrote my post and didn't think anything of it until I was in the shower before bed. (Ah, yes, the infamous shower thought process...)

Kaitlyn Lee/The Black Daiquiri

See, the character is very angry, quick to shoot first (but with swords and not guns), ask questions later. Much later. In any given situation, when there's a hint of a fight or an argument, she's usually the one that somehow starts it. This is who she is. It makes for interesting interactions.

But, last night, I wrote my post. She's drunk, trying to forget, and angry. Instead of drawing a knife on the source of her anger, as is her typical response, she yelled at him and huffed off. She yelled at him and just left! She acted like a girl!!

This threw me so much for a loop that I laid in bed completely flabbergasted because this isn't the first time she's done that with this particular guy. It was after midnight, but I called my husband into the room because I just needed to talk this through. I couldn't comprehend why she reacted to the situation like she did and it would have kept me up all night.

I know what you're saying: "But, she's your character. You made her up, you control her. How can you not know why she did something?" And that's what my supportive husband said while trying to hide a grin.

This is something that seems to be pretty familiar with writers. Yes, we make up the characters, but when we develop them fully, they can surprise us when the words appear on the paper. Yeah, maybe it's just our subconscious talking through them, or moving the character where we really want them without us thinking about it.

But that doesn't change the issue that when they do this, it's just plain confounding because I think that even us writers believe that we have some vague control of the characters themselves. When they surprise us, we're left standing around asking "What the hell just happened???"

I'm still not entirely sure what's going on, but I think it has to do with her idea of what he should be doing (being a hero) because she doesn't think she can and when she sees him failing that it upsets the image she has in her head of him. If it was a simple case of being dismissed, she'd whip those knives out nothing flat, so it must be something deeper. And it's something I need to explore even further.

It's amazing how something of our own creation can surprise us. And it's ok that others don't understand what that's like.