Day 28 - Almost done, but not really!

Still ahead! :D

Today's total: 1972

Total: 47275

Left: 2725

Coming up with a favorite sentence is kind of hard tonight. I had the scene written. It was maybe about 1000ish words. And when I looked back at the beginning, I realized I was missing a huge opportunity. Kassia is running away from a fight gone bad and found a motel to hole up in for the night. My intro basically went like this: she found the hotel, got the key and then went inside. Once inside is where I found that first 1000 words of the night.

But the opportunity staring me in the face when I looked back to figure out how to make the scene longer and more interesting to the reader was when she arrived at the motel. I mean, surely I could come up with something interesting, but not necessarily life-threatening, to happen, right?!


And I did. And since I am super proud of this particular scene (is it sad that my first super proud moment was on day 3 and my second one is today...?), I'm going to share the entire "opportunity" I had written, right up until she enters the room.

It had started raining as I drove, still struggling for breath. I kept going until I was sure that I was far enough away from the bar that it wouldn't be easy to track me. Of course, that didn't seem to matter to Tehanier, but it would hopefully keep everyone else off my path for a little while.

The rain had turned into a torrential downpour and I almost drove past a little motel on the outskirts of town. I was drenched in the two minute run from the car to the office. I hadn’t gotten a good glimpse of the outside of the motel, but the inside didn’t look too promising. Even with the laws passed to ban smoking inside, the office manager behind the counter was very obviously a chain smoker with her ashtray full of butts sitting on the counter beside her and a lit cigarette hanging in her hand. She looked up from the tabloid she’d been reading, or at least attempting to, and tried to focus her with rhuemy eyes on me. Her expression didn’t change as she took in my drenched appearance and weapons. Maybe she couldn’t see me all that well.

I waited for a moment to see if she’d say something along the lines of “Good evening,” or “How can I help you?” or “It’s a little wet outside, huh?” But she didn’t say anything as she continued to look at me. Ok, then…

Trying to not cough from the smoke, I walked up to the counter. “I’d like a room for the night, please.” I was trying really hard to be nice and polite but after having gallons of cold water dumped on my head and running down the inside of my shirt along my spine and after the rest of the day I’d had, nice and polite were almost abstract concepts.

The office manager, with her gray hair pulled back into a bun, stood up from her tall seventies styled bucket chair and waddled more than walked to the back wall. Her Hawaiian mu-mu hung loosely on her wiry frame. She grabbed a key with a little plastic room number tag and slapped it down on the counter. “Seventy-eight dollars,” she said.

“Seventy dollars for one night, really half a night, in this run down hole in the wall?” I told you that nice and polite were abstract concepts, right?

The old woman just glared at me, her hand still on the key. “Seventy-eight,” she repeated, emphasising the ‘eight’.

I guess it’s good business to not hand the key over until after receiving the money first. I pulled out my wallet and dug in it for the “seventy-eight” dollars. And then I dug in my pockets for change since I didn’t have that exact amount. I put what I had on the counter and held my hand out for the key.

She kept the key tightly in her hand as she counted out my seventy-four dollars and twenty-three cents. “Seventy-eight.” I’m pretty sure her glare rivaled mine for intesity.

But no matter how fierce my glare was, I wanted a room. She had a room. So I had to find the other three dollars and seventy-seven cents. I called the old lady many, many bad names as I walked back out into the rain. It hadn’t let up any, but I was already drenched, so I didn’t hurry. I dug in the cushions, cup holders, and center console and eventually found enough.

I was shivering and pretty sure my lips were blue from the cold outside when I came back in. “Seventy-eight,” I said, slamming down the dripping wet change.

She took her sweet time counting out the rest, sliding coins into and out of the small puddles of water on the counter top, but eventually held out the key. I swiped it from her hand and walked quickly down the hall, very glad this particular motel had a hallway with rooms on either side rather than doors that face outside.

My boots squelched when I walked. Everything on me dripped freezing water. But, ya know what? The old bat deserved to have a sopping wet hallway after that fun little exchange. I found my room and unlocked the door.